Mental Health Tips while wedding planning
Hi there! It has been a minute. There has been a lot going on in the past year with opening my own business, travel, and wedding planning- yay! Which brings me to the topic of this episode: how to care for your mental health while wedding planning. The last year has been amazing and overwhelming and a whirlwind.
Engagements mean different things for different people. Some don’t ever get married, the engagement is the commitment. Some start to wedding plan right away, some wait, some elope. Whatever it is, it is a big step in life and it is okay to be excited and anxious, joyful and stressed, all feelings can coexist.
I personally am a very type A person in general, and while wedding planning, so I started early and have a lot done so far. And we have a little over 6 months until the wedding!
Here are some tips from my experience with wedding planning over the past year…
You’re only a fiancé once
This is something that my fiancé taught me when we were deciding when to have our wedding. We got engaged in October 2023 and were considering getting married this month, October 2024, but that to us just seemed like too much. We just went through the change of moving to a different city, getting a dog, so that just felt like a lot for us. So we decided on Spring 2025. This felt a little too long of an engagement, but it worked. Sometimes I express to him that this feels like sooooo long and I just want to be married, and he reminds me that this is the one time in our lives that we will be fiancés. We will be married forever, but fiancés only for a bit. This has really grounded me and made me enjoy this period of fiancé life.
Wedding panning has been so fun and, honestly, time goes by so fast nowadays. So enjoy fiancé life no matter how long it lasts.
Finances
Planning a wedding is expensive. Pretty much no matter what type of wedding you want to have, there are expenses to consider. Setting aside money for wedding can be something that you plan for before getting engaged, or something that you don’t plan for.
Here are some mental health considerations when it comes to finances…
-Don’t break the bank, don’t spend too much that you go into extreme debt, as that can lead to resentment and lots of stress.
-There can be feelings of guilt and/ or relief if family is helping out.
-Be realistic with what you want to spend, maybe consult with someone, ask advice from people you trust who have gone through it.
All of these feelings are valid and normal, AND be aware of these emotions. Talk to your partner, friends, family, therapist about it when it comes up.
Body image
Body image is a big one when it comes to wedding planning. There is that notion of getting your “wedding body”and the old, awful, cliche of the bride starving self for wedding
Don’t get me wrong, it is ok to want to get in shape for your wedding, but not in an unhealthy way such as starving yourself.
There can be a lot of pressure to look a certain way on your wedding day, and that has been tough for me as the bride. The pressure that this is the best day of your life, and you want to look perfect and feel perfect. I keep having to remind myself that perfection is unrealistic and striving for perfection only adds stress.
Remember that this day will be perfect because you marrying your person! And your person loves you just for how you are. Try to love and appreciate your body just the way you are as well. Don’t just get healthy for your wedding, but for your life and your future self!
Family
Considering family can be a challenge when it comes to wedding planning. Wedding planning can bring out the ugly side of families, or bring to light challenges that have been buries. Some people say that they don’t consider families’ opinions or anything when wedding planning and just focus on them and their partner, and some greatly consider family’s opinions.
There may be cultural or religious expectations or considerations within your family that you as a couple may not completely agree with. Or traditions, gender norms that you feel pressure to comply with. Each family is different and you know how to navigate your own family, but just remember to put yourself first if you can.
Try not to please everyone because you can’t. Decide whether you are going to allow for others opinions or not in this experience. You can also set boundaries with family members, and tell them what you need their help on and what you don’t.
Remember that this is YOUR wedding. It is not your job to please others, or solve unresolved family issues during this time. Your family should be happy because you are happy. If they are not, that is unfortunate and disheartening. If there are shocking moments that arise with family during this time, focus on what is most important, and lean on your partner.
Write down or just discuss often with your partner why you are getting married, what you as a couple value for this special day, and why you are so excited for a future together. Your love is the main character.
Present focus
While going through this process, stress is normal but remember to stay present as much as you can. Enjoy engagement and enjoy wedding planning! You will only be in this period of life for a short time.
Let go of perfectionism. Remind yourself that nothing can be perfect, something will go wrong on the wedding day, just let it be and know that it will be perfect because you are marrying your person.
Continue to enjoy life with your partner, don’t ONLY wedding plan. Continue to go on date nights, do fun activities, and don’t only talk about wedding things when you interact.
Couples Therapy
It is not uncommon to seek therapy or couples therapy during wedding planning. This does not mean that you are failing at doing it yourself or that you aren’t ready to get married. It’s just that it’s a big life change that you are going through and planning for.
Finally,
Good luck! You got this, we got this. Take care of your mental well being during this time of big emotions.
https://www.brides.com/care-for-mental-health-while-wedding-planning-5191882
