Not knowing

I feel like people sometimes think that therapists are all knowing. That everything is perfect in our lives, that we know the answer to everything, that we never struggle or have challenges. That cannot be further from the truth. Therapists are humans with real human experiences and we have shared experiences with our clients. We do have specific training and knowledge, however, a therapist should not be seen as the “all-knowing expert” of life. With a belief like this, an imbalance of power and inauthenticity enters the therapy room. We don’t want that! This blog is to remind therapists, clients, and myself, that it is okay not to know.

We are all just minuscule beings on a large planet, trying to make the most out of the life we were given. We work hard, we seek fulfillment, we try to do something that matters. To do all this, we don’t need to know everything.

But sometimes with not knowing, comes imposter syndrome.

How am I supposed to help and support others through their most vulnerable times when I am still learning and growing myself?

I feel guilty when I don’t know the answer to a client’s question, or I don’t know exactly the right way to support with their challenges. I feel under qualified and like a “bad” therapist. I question my abilities, my knowledge, and my competency. Adhering to your scope of practice and scope of competence* obligations are a separate issue, but what I mean is just not having a clear answer for their life stressor.

This is the challenge of therapy but also the beauty of it. We, as therapists, are a sounding board and a guide for client’s learning and growing, and we learn and grow right beside them. Clients truly are the experts of their own beings, and my clients teach me so much about life on a regular basis. It is ok for me to not know. It is ok to not be perfect, or put on a mask of perfection. It does not mean that we are unprofessional or unknowledgeable, it just means we are human.

I think that we all need to remind ourselves of our humanity. We are all learning, growing, developing every second of every day. As therapists, it is ok to bring your humanity into the therapy room. This will actually be more beneficial for your clients, and yourself.

*Scope of practice: A legal definition that's set by external oversight organizations and limits what a profession can do. For example, a social worker's scope of practice might be limited to diagnosing patients, but not prescribing medication. AI Google definition

*Scope of competence: An ethical definition that's determined by the individual professional and is usually a subset of their scope of practice. It's based on their education, training, and experience, and can include activities that are okay for the profession to do, but not for a specific individual to do well. For example, a behavior analyst might be competent to offer classroom consultation, but only if they have the necessary training and supervision. AI Google definition